Thursday, December 23, 2010

How to Say: "You're Not Invited"

While we love and tolerate our next-of-kin and
extended family, there are those whose presence
makes congregating around the tree awkward.
Some of us say little or nothing at all, while others
just avoid the problem invitee. So what IS the
appropriate way to interact with these guests?
1.      Tell Uncle Lester that groping his nieces last year
  disqualifies him from this year’s festivities.

                                                                     2.    Tell Aunt Sophie that sucking down a whole bottle
  of Rum last year gets her taken off the list this year.  
3.    Invite the offender, and direct him/her to the just
    slightly spoiled Salmon spread.
     Get someone else in the family to throw the party
   Tell the whole family that you are going on a cruise
  this year, and actually relax at home with the lights off,
a bottle of good Wine, and a fire in the fireplace.

      Actually go on the cruise.
      Announce that the menu will consist of mostly
      saturated fat take-out food, and no booze

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