Friday, June 14, 2013

POINT / COUNTERPOINT


 With the entire World going to Hell in a hand-basket, I thought I might give this a whirl. I “cherry picked” some of the Headlines
from articles in the New York Times, Vol. CLXII…No. 56.167. Friday, June 14th, 2013. Read ‘em & weep!
                 NY Times Headline:                                                We The Peeps 1” Interpretation:
“Justices, 9-0, Bar Patenting Human Genes”
The Supreme Court never does anything 9-0. Who on that Court even knows what a Human Gene is? But, what the Hell, they’ll vote on it anyway.
“Push To Prepare City’s Buildings For Next Storm”
I’m guessing that President Bloomberg is going to deploy the Defense Department’s “Iron Shield”. Why not; it worked so well in Israel (not!).
“Suit Over Who Owns A Song”
We can’t pray in schools. We can’t say Merry Christmas. And now, we can’t sing Happy Birthday!?? Oh, come on.
“China-Japan Dispute Brews”
Oh, crap…..not again! Can’t anyone tell China to shut up and sit down?
“Murdoch Files For Divorce”
Before he’s all done, good old Rupert will eclipse Liz Taylor in failed marriages and failed News Agencies.
“Bloomberg Reporters’ Tactics Become Crucial Issue”
I’m not in the 1%. I didn’t know that Bloomberg Reporters were getting hung out to dry. I didn’t have to read half the Article to realize all the hullabaloo is about Insider Trading; only, we can’t use that term for these folks. It’s time to man up and call it what it is.
“ Turkish Protestors Say Talks With Premier Lead To A Tentative Agreement”
Good! Now we won’t have to watch them burn down Istanbul on the nightly news. And, things better quiet down some before all those U.S. Service Men and Women arrive. Hey, I can see Syria from my back porch. How about them apples?!
“Citing Chemical Warfare, U.S. Is Said To Be Ready To Send Arms To Rebels”
I just love Red Lines. Don’t you? The biggest line we’re going to cross is that of starting another senseless Armed Conflict in the Mideast. I hope our Army likes Turkish cuisine.
“Nicaragua Approves Building Its Own Canal”
Oh, this ought to fun to watch. I know they’re hard working; but, a Canal? I don’t think so.
“Hague Court Turns Down Abuse Inquiry”
Please don’t tell me the Vatican has the World Court in its pocket. A parent has to be crazy to allow one of their children to step foot inside a Catholic House of Worship.
“Greece: Unions Stage a General Strike”
Who cares?!!
“Inspector Commits Suicide After Building Collapse”
It’s time someone took ownership of their bad behavior.
“Agency’s Crusade Against Leaks of a Potent Greenhouse Gas Yields Results”
Yep…we got your depleted ozone layer, global warming, climate change, super storms, major draughts….that Crusade is doing some mighty fine things, I’d say.
“A Promise Of Changes For Access To Secrets”
Well, correct me if I’m wrong, but that kind of makes them NOT secrets anymore. I know the logic is hard to follow, but we pay these folks big bucks to dazzle us with BS.
I will leave you with these sweet little morsels. There were more, but I would run the risk of putting you to sleep, if I continued.

Oh, wait, I’d end up putting myself to sleep, too.