Brought to you by Fox Noise

Well, it’s Saturday afternoon, and I thought it might be nice to get horizontal on the big couch and watch some television. I was surfing through the channels when, low and behold, I caught a wave at Fox Cable Network News. The “show” that was airing at the time was a re-run of “The Five”. Those of you who watch Fox News already know who the five panelists are, and the rest of us really don’t give a damn. I could only watch about twenty minutes of this show, as I was doubled over in laughter and fell from my perch on the big couch more times than I care to remember.

Very loosely, the main topic of discussion was that of street violence and the efforts at small arms gun control. The panelists started out with three bad people who have been up front in the News lately. First up was a discussion about the South African paraplegic Olympian who allegedly shot his Super-Model girlfriend. It didn’t take the Fox Noise Makers more than thirty seconds before arguments centering around Apartheid took over the conversation. It was at this point that I figured I had better stay tuned to see where this path was going to lead. Well, sure enough, it lead to the college student in Georgia who went on a rampage killing anyone who even resembled a white person. Stating Anthropology as his college major, he obviously blamed his curriculum for creating the rage inside him to boil over. He claims he was trying to get even for the slave trade in this Country. Then came their “Piece d’Resistance”. Center stage shifted to the ex L.A. cop turned murderer. Immediately the claims of liberal bias were leveled at the 47% of this Country who have put this man up on a pedestal, and are using him to point out all the conservative short comings of our Society.

Appropriately sprinkled throughout this panel discussion was black-on-black crime, white-on-black crime, the ACLU’s unconditional love of criminals of any color, or gender, and President Obama’s attempt to quell his detractors by showing up in Chicago to speak about gun control. I won’t get into the statistics that were quoted, because I don’t want anyone falling off their perch in uncontrollable laughter. Of course, the rightwing mantra was repeated over and over again, “The Government wants to take your guns!” As I exited stage left, there was an equally humorous advertisement about how “Obama-Care” is about to deny everyone in this Nation medical care of any type, and how “Obama-Care is about to bankrupt every business, large and small.

I have one small request of Rupert Murdoch; “Please rename Fox News as The Comedy Channel II.” I think your ratings might actually go up.