Wednesday, August 10, 2011


 [This was just too good to pass up!]

Political Science for Dummies

DEMOCRAT:  You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You push for higher taxes so the government can provide cows for  everyone.

REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none.So?

SOCIALIST:  You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to  tell him how to manage his cow.
COMMUNIST:   You have two cows. The government seizes both  and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE:   You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a  herd of cows.
BUREAUCRACY,  AMERICAN  STYLE:  You have two cows. Under the new farm program, the government pays you to shoot and then pourthe milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION:   You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back
to yourself  and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.

FRENCH  CORPORATION:    You have two cows. You go on strike because you
want three cows. You go to lunch and drink wine. Life is good

JAPANESE  CORPORATION:   You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION:   You have two cows. You engineer them so they are  all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.  Unfortunately, they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION :    You have two cows but you don't know where they are.  You break for lunch. Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION:    You have two cows. You drink some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows. You drink some more vodka. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. The Mafia shows up and takes over
however many cows you really  have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION:     You have all the cows in Afghanistan , which are two. You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts. You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find  alternatives to milk
production but use the money to buy weapons.

IRAQI CORPORATION:    You have two cows. They go into hiding. They send radio tapes of their mooing.

POLISH CORPORATION:   You have two bulls. Employees  are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

BELGIAN CORPORATION:    You have one cow. The cow is schizophrenic. Sometimes,the cow thinks he's French; other times he's Flemish. The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow. The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk. The cow asks permission to be cut in half. The cow dies happy.

FLORIDA CORPORATION :    You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best looking one. Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally  vote for the black one. Some people vote for both. Somepeople vote for neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys  from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best looking cow.

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION:    You have millions of cows. They make real California  cheese.  Only five speak English. Most are illegal. Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.

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