Friday, December 31, 2010

It’s time for you and yours to GO!

 [ from a man in Montana ....who, like the rest of us,  has had  just about enough ]
Something tells me this guy might be a teensy bit pissed. 
Reprinted form an e-mail I received from my old friend, Al.
Some slight  editorial license was used to better format this piece.

 Senator Alan Simpson Calls Seniors 'Greediest Generation
Hey Alan,
Let’s get a few things straight.
1. As a career politician, you have been on the public dole for FIFTY YEARS.
2. I have been paying Social Security taxes for 48 YEARS (since I was 15 years old. I am now 63).
3. My Social Security payments, and those of millions of other Americans, have been safely tucked away in an interest bearing account for decades. You political pukes decided to raid the account and give OUR money to a bunch of zero ambition losers in return for votes. You bankrupted the system and turned Social Security into a Ponzi scheme that would have made Bernie Madoff proud.
4. Recently, just like Lucy & Charlie Brown, you and your ilk pulled the proverbial football away from millions of American seniors nearing retirement and moved the goalposts for full retirement from age 65 to age 67. NOW, you and your shill commission are proposing to move the goalposts YET AGAIN…
5. I, and millions of other Americans, have been paying into Medicare from Day One, and now you morons propose to change the rules of the game. Why? Because you idiots mismanaged other parts of the economy to such an extent that you need to steal money from Medicare to pay the bills…
6. I, and millions of other Americans, have been paying income taxes our entire lives, and now you propose to increase our taxes yet again. Why? Because you incompetent bastards spent our money with such reckless abandon that you just kept on spending even after you ran out of money. Now, you come to the American taxpayers and say you need more to pay of YOUR debt…
To add insult to injury, you label us “greedy” for calling “bullshit” on your incompetence. Well, Captain Bullshit, I have a few questions for YOU…
1. How much money have you earned from the American taxpayers during your pathetic 50-year political career?
2. At what age did you retire from your pathetic political career, and how much are you receiving in annual retirement benefits from the American taxpayers?
3. How much do you pay for YOUR government provided health insurance?
4. What cuts in YOUR retirement and healthcare benefits are you proposing in your disgusting deficit reduction proposal? Oh, I forgot, you exempted yourself and your political cronies from the laws you made for us.
It is you, Captain Bullshit, and your political co-conspirators who are “greedy”. It is you and they who have bankrupted America and stolen the American dream from millions of loyal, patriotic taxpayers. And for what? Votes. That’s right, sir. You and yours have bankrupted America for the sole purpose of advancing your pathetic political careers. You know it, we know it, and you know that we know it.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Subject: "priceless"

Uh oh...
The doctor said, 'Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches.  The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press on  your spine, and the pressure creates one hell of a headache.  The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.' Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife.  
When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time
in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of
himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a
different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.  
He saw a men's clothing store and thought, 'That's what I need... A new
suit.' He entered the shop and told the salesman, 'I'd like a new suit.' 

The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, 'Let's see...size 44  long.'
Joe laughed, 'That's right, how did you know?'
'Been in the business 60 years!' the tailor said.
Joe tried on the suit; it fit perfectly. 
As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, 'How about a new shirt?'
Joe thought for a moment and then said, 'Sure.'
The salesman eyed Joe and said, 'Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck.' 
Joe was surprised, 'That's right, how did you know?'
' Been in the business 60 years.'
Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly.  
Joe walked comfortably around the shop, and the salesman asked, 'How about some new underwear?' Joe thought for a moment and said, 'Sure.'  
The salesman said, 'Let's see...size 36.'  
Joe laughed, 'Ah ha! I got you, I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old.'  
The salesman shook his head, 'You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press

your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.' 

New suit $400                                                                                                                      
               New shirt - $36
                                  New underwear - $6
                                                               Second opinion - PRICELESS!