Thursday, April 6, 2017

“WE LOVE OUR VETS”

“WE LOVE OUR VETS"

A mere seven days after the passing of the “Mo-Shit-A Regime”, this is the effect of Mr. Brat-brain’s  “Mold Remediation” program at the VA Medical Center in Northport, NY. The once elegant Main Hospital building has been allowed to fall into a slight state of disrepair. But, not to worry, it’s still fully operational and processing a large Patient load. The long-awaited “Wait Time Shuffle” has entered a new phase, also. Now a lucky Vet can get an appointment by simply making their way to the third floor of this elegant structure. The new process is quick, courteous, and painless; a far cry from the days of 30-60-90 day wait times for even a Primary Care appointment. The good Dr. Cough-man will usher you into the Medical Suite - no questions asked. The unsuspecting Vet  will be ushered to a comfy chair with wheels; gently spun around three times; given a printout of current medications and the next few scheduled appointments; then, in one graceful movement, the Vet and the chair will be summarily launched out of the gaping hole in the exterior wall. And, voila, Patient cured - case closed. Hopefully, someone from Bay Pines will show up to scrape the Vet’s remains into a garbage can and trundle said remains off to a shower to be “cleaned up”. With any luck at all, the next of kin will be notified by telegram that their loved one has met with an inauspicious end, and would someone please come collect what’s left. In the time it takes for this scenario to play out, the Hospital will have managed to duplicate this procedure forty-five times. In doing so, the Medical Center will have lowered its appointment request rate by more than 60% and be able to show that their “wait time” numbers are really outstanding. These awesome low “wait times” will, in turn, generate huge year-end bonuses for the upper management.
Conclusion:
 Happy upper management,



 


                      a whole lot fewer Vets to provide for,






and more free donuts for the morning Executive Meetings in the richly paneled Board Room.




Like they say, “We love our Vets”.



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