MY NEXT LIFE, by Woody Allen

I normally would pass right by anything involving Woody Allen. This little tidbit is simply too good to pass up.

MY NEXT LIFE

          by Woody Allen

   “In my next life I want
                      to live backwards.

You start out dead and get that all out of the way.

Then you wake up in an old person’s home feeling better every day.

   You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day.

   You work for forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement.

   You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school.

   You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born.

   And then you spend your last nine months floating in luxurious spa like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then, Voila!

          You finish off as an orgasm!

                                      I rest my case.”